Joy In The Journey

I Love This Man

2012-02-27T14:53:00.001-05:00

February 28, 1998 was the BEST day of my life. But every single day since then has been even better because I have gotten to spend all of them with my best friend. So, Chad when you read this just know I love you more than life itself and I am so grateful to God for hand-picking you just for me!!! I cannot imagine my life without you. Thank you for taking me on the most incredible adventure and sticking by my side whether we're upon the mountains or hikng through the valleys of life. We are so very, very blessed. Happy 14th Anniversary!!

Loud And Clear

2012-02-25T22:39:00.003-05:00

For I am crucified with Christ and yet I live.

Not I, but Christ that lives within me.

His cross will never ask for more, than I can give,

For it's not my strength but His.

There's no greater sacrifice, for I am crucified with Christ

and yet I live.

While standing at the kitchen sink doing dishes this morning God so clearly spoke these words to me, I swear He was standing close enough to breathe on me and make my hair move.

I would choose no other way, nor change anything that has happened along the journey. Thanks be to God for sending His precious son to shed his blood so that I may live.

Sometimes He Comes In The Clouds

2012-02-23T14:06:00.003-05:00

How am I?

Do you really want to know? Do I really want to share my heart?

Honestly, I don't know how I'm doing. (Let me stress this does not mean I do not know WHO I am, or WHOSE perfect will I am being held in). Many of the hours this past week have been spent doing what I always am doing...Mom stuff. But then there are moments that I suddenly get caught up in what just happened again to my heart, to my body and I just weep.

Second miscarriage definitely more difficult than the first. It was much easier the first time around to fully believe that it was random, most likely a chromosome abnormality. After our first miscarriage I had this hope inside of me that it happened for reasons only God knew and I would still be able to become pregnant again with a healthy pregnancy. This time though, I feel like it's somehow more my fault and less of some random occurrence. Maybe because they both occurred at almost the same gestational time as one another? Maybe because I've read that the chance of having a second miscarriage is extremely low, and to have another that is caused by a genetic problem is even lower.

How many things in life though cause us to have questions and no answers? After all, God is God and we are not, so there are just some things we will never know, understand or comprehend on this side of Heaven. Praise God my faith follows me into the dark, shadowy places of life.

I think the hardest part this time around is the hope that has been shattered. Scattered into too many pieces to find and be put back together....on my own. I have to rely on God to find them all and put them back into place. To know that while our prayer for another baby was answered only briefly, that God gives and takes away, my heart will choose to say, blessed be your name. (Did you read that Satan???)

Strong Enough

2012-02-16T19:54:00.007-05:00

You must
You must think I'm strong
To give me what I'm going through

Well, forgive me
Forgive me if I'm wrong
But this looks like more than I can do
On my own

I know I'm not strong enough to be
everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up
I'm not strong enough
Hands of mercy won't you cover me
Lord right now I'm asking you to be
Strong enough
Strong enough
For the both of us

Well, maybe
Maybe that's the point
To reach the point of giving up

Cause when I'm finally
Finally at rock bottom
Well, that's when I start looking up
And reaching out

I know I'm not strong enough to be
Everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up
I'm not strong enough
Hands of mercy won't you cover me
Lord right now I'm asking you to be
Strong enough
Strong enough

Cause I'm broken
Down to nothing
But I'm still holding on to the one thing
You are God
and you are strong
When I am weak

I can do all things
Through Christ who gives me strength
And I don't have to be
Strong enough
Strong enough

I can do all things
Through Christ who gives me strength
And I don't have to be
Strong enough
Strong enough

Oh, yeah

I know I'm not strong enough to be
Everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up
I'm not strong enough
Hands of mercy won't you cover me
Lord right now I'm asking you to be
Strong enough
Strong enough
Strong enough

(Strong Enough~Matthew West)

I do not have to have a repeat blood test tomorrow morning. We are no longer concerned about the possibility of an ectopic pregnancy in addition to the intrauterine pregnancy. I am scheduled for surgery at 10:45 tomorrow morning.

Today was hard. I still feel incredibly sick and I'm very exhausted. The reality of knowing there is no longer any reason behind feeling that way made the day seem very long.

Not The News We Wanted To Have To Share

2012-02-15T21:25:00.004-05:00

Really not sure how to share this news except just to say we found out today that we have miscarried again. We were blessed to be able to be a vessel to usher this precious soul into Heaven but ache that we will not get to know him or her on earth.

I went in to the Doctor because I was bleeding. After two ultrasounds it was determined that there was no heartbeat and baby stopped growing at 7 weeks.

To complicate matters a tad further my HCG (pregnancy hormone) levels are quite high~enough to cause some concern that there may be an ectopic pregnancy as well. I also still am experiencing pregnancy symptoms which I should no longer really have.

So, the plan right now is to check my levels Friday morning to see if they are going down. If they are, we should no longer need to be concerned about an ectopic. If they are increasing however, that is a cause for concern and I would then need to undergo laparoscopic surgery to look in the fallopian tubes. In addition to this I have chosen to undergo a D & C as I really don't want to wait to miscarry on my own. Hopefully, that is the only thing we will need to worry about and it would then be done Friday afternoon sometime.

PLEASE pray that my numbers go down with Friday's test.

We are sad, but as with the first miscarriage we still cling to the fact that God is sovereign and in complete control. From allowing conception to take place, to ushering our precious baby into His Kingdom. We will choose to become better, not bitter because of this. We will be a testimony in the darkest night and profess the power of the cross in our lives in the valleys and on the mountaintops.

We covet your prayers in the coming days and weeks and thank you for loving our family.

Long Overdue Update

2012-02-13T13:02:00.003-05:00

Our family has been super busy over these past several weeks. School, Church, Birthday celebrations have consumed much of our lives lately! I cannot believe we are in the middle of the month of February already. It's so nice to see the mornings are brighter earlier and the evenings staying lighter longer.

The biggest happening in the life of our family:

Due to arrive September 15.....or so

We are THRILLED and very, very thankful to God for this blessing!!!

The reaction when we told the boys the news was priceless. I put the big brother shirt on Caleb and told the big boys that Caleb had something to tell them. As he walked out into the living room Wesley and Ethan saw him first and immediately burst into tears of joy. Lucas had a smile that consumed his entire face. Jackson was trying to read Caleb's shirt and after Chad told him what it said he turned to me and said "Mom, God answered the prayer I pray every single day".

We have known about this pregnancy since the first few weeks I was pregnant. I had to go in to the Doctor for another issue and had a feeling I could be pregnant. I swore I saw a second line on a test I had taken (of course I had to look at it from a hundred different angles, in all kinds of light) but I wasn't sure it was not just my mind just playing a trick on me. =) So, we did a blood test. That came back at a level that was inconclusive and I had to go back 4 days later for another test. IT CAME BACK POSITIVE!!!! Keeping it a secret from everybody for 8 weeks was painfully difficult!

I've been feeling blah and very, very tired. I can eat one thing a certain day and then the next day can't even stand to look at it. Trying to plan weekly menus has been fun. I try to go with meals that are easy and can be changed depending on the day.

We are all extremely grateful for this blessing and looking forward to watching my belly grow over the next several months!! What an amazing, incredible gift we have been given!

And now to go take a nap......

Happy Birthday Boys!!!

2012-01-30T20:42:00.000-05:00

Happy Birthday Boys!!!
Ethan (12)
Lucas (10)

They cannot wait to use their new fishing poles this Summer!!

Thinking Of Our Sweet Baby In Heaven...

2012-01-18T13:45:00.002-05:00

Tomorrow would have have been my due date. I can smile at that because, like the boys, this one probably would not have made his/her grand entrance until many, many days late. =) Our plan though was not the same as God's plan.

We love and miss you baby Walters!

This baby was very much wanted, and is deeply missed. It is amazing how you can grieve over someone you never even got to meet this side of Heaven.

However, we still hold fast to our sovereign God and trust in Him. Even, when we do not understand it!! We are thankful as a family for the precious life God blessed us with. We look forward with great joy, to the day when we will get to meet our precious son or daughter, sister or brother.

My hope is in you Lord, all the day long. I won't be shaken by drought or storm. The peace that passes understanding is my song, and I sing my hope is in you alone.

I will wait on you, you are my refuge.

Only In Michigan...

2012-01-14T16:05:00.000-05:00

Can you dry jeans over the deck and
sit in a chair reading a book in January....

....and then three days later go play outside in this!!!

Finally A New Recipe Everyone Was Happy With

2012-01-11T12:54:00.001-05:00

I am sick and tired of eating the same meals over and over....and over.....and over. I've tested out a few new recipes over the past week and this one seems to be a winner.

My tweaks:
I used pre-cooked shredded chicken from my freezer. I thawed it in the microwave before adding it to the mixture of soup/mustard.
I did not use the broccoli. My family (execpt for me) are not super excited about veggies. I suppose I could have chopped some broccoli florets really fine and they probably wouldn't have noticed, but I did not want to take the time. Another idea would be to only have the broccoli on part of the casserole.

Chicken Cordon Bleu Casserole

A fairly simple dinner to put together and no complaints around the dinner table~what's not to love?! =)

My Favorite Song Of 2011...

2011-12-31T21:54:00.001-05:00

This was my theme song for this past year.

This is my favorite song of 2011.....and I'm sure it will continue to be as I begin this year. Maybe it should be my theme song too?!

I have nothing left to do but to wait on Him....so let's see what God's going to do in 2012!

Happy New Year to all my blog readers!!! Thank you for sharing in my life, carrying me in prayer. I'm blessed!

Merry CHRISTmas

2011-12-23T23:37:00.000-05:00

Merry CHRISTmas! May you be blessed as you remember the one and only reason for the season. May it not be just a day in December, but may you live each and every day with Christ as the center of your life. There is absolutely no greater gift that your could have in life than to know Christ as your personal Savior!

Jesus is a life giver and a life changer!!!

Requested Recipes...Snickers Surprise Cookies, Slow Cooker Lasagna, White Chicken Chili

2011-12-15T21:06:00.001-05:00

Requested from friends~enjoy!!!
Snickers Surprise Cookies

2 sticks butter (softened)
1 cup creamy peanut butter
1 cup light brown sugar
1 cup sugar
2 eggs
1 tsp. vanilla
3 1/2 cups all purpose flour (sifted)
1tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. salt
1 pkg. (13 oz) Snickers miniatures

1. Combine the butter, peanut butter, and sugars using a mixer on a medium to low speed until light and fluffy.
2. Slowly add eggs and vanilla until thoroughly combined. Then mix in flour, salt and baking soda.
3. Cover and chill dough for 2-3 hours.
4. Unwrap all the Snickers minis
5. Remove dough from refrigerator. Divide into 1Tbls. pieces and flatten.
6. Place a Snickers mini in the center of each piece of dough.
7. Form the dough into a ball around the Snickers
8. Place on a greased cookie sheet (I used parchment paper on mine and it worked great) and bake at 300 degrees F for 12-14 minutes.
9. Let cookies cool on baking rack or wax paper.
Optional: Drizzle melted chocolate chips over the top of each cookie

***IMPORTANT*** Hide them away or they will be gone in a blink~especially if I'm around =)

Slow Cooker Lasagna link:
http://www.kraftrecipes.com/recipes/slow-cooker-lasagna-114123.aspx

This was really, really good and pretty easy. The only change I made is using cottage cheese instead of ricotta because I didn't have that in the house.

White Chicken Chili
2 lbs. diced chicken
48oz jar Great Northern Beans (use juice also)
16oz jar of salsa
8oz Monterey Jack Cheese (I've also used colby jack)
2tsp. Cumin (I skip this...kids don't care for it)
1tsp. Chili Powder
1 1/2 cup Chicken broth

Put all together in a crock pot and cook for 4 hours on high. Add salt, pepper or ground red pepper as desired.

While The Cookie Dough Chills...

2011-12-15T13:40:00.000-05:00

I just made a batch of cookie dough for my snicker surprise cookies (a mini snickers baked inside cookie dough) yummy!!! Those are going to tip my scale in the wrong direction because I'm pretty sure I'll have to sample a ~~dozen~~ few!!

The best part of the cookie is what is in the middle!!! It gets all soft and gooey when baked. It has to undergo the heat of the oven to melt the inside.

Oh how often I feel like that cookie!!! I am baking in the heat, God melting me on the inside. Changing and growing all the time.

I would much rather be the cookie baking in the oven, then the dough just sitting in the bowl in the refrigerator!!

Give It Away

2011-12-09T13:24:00.000-05:00

A really old song (from 1990), but a timeless message.

My Prayer Today

2011-12-05T22:16:00.000-05:00

I had to laugh the other day as I was listening to my favorite radio station. The DJ was talking about how all these blogs she reads are always showing only the positive~warm fuzzy side of life of the author and how that just wasn't her life at all. I chuckled because I'm afraid I've become one of 'them'. I'll sit down to write something that is on my heart to share and end up deleting it because it exposes what goes on inside of me sometimes. Honestly, I would much rather post a blog entry that encourages someone~but life just doesn't always work that way because sometimes life is just discouraging. Sometimes you just have a really bad day, or like today a really difficult afternoon.

So, here is a non-fuzzy post~sorry if it offends anyone that it's not a wrap yourself up in a cozy warm blanket with a cup of hot chocolate and be encouraged post.

Sometimes I feel like I'm just completely all alone. People are selfish (yes, I will lump myself into that category~I'm not perfect by any means). They say they care, but they don't. They say they are praying, but they really aren't. They forget about you...even when they are supposed to remember. So, this is what I cried out to God today, because God is indeed the God of my hope, my need. He will never change. I have to believe that. I simply must believe.

God of my hope, God of my need
God of my pain that no one else will ever see.
God of my healing, God of my strength.
God who is always and will forever reign,
God of my everything.

God of my everything.

And when the mountains shake, you are my God. You never change.
And when the earth gives way, you are still God. You never change.

Thankfulness

2011-11-28T22:11:00.000-05:00

We had a Thanksgiving service at our Church yesterday that was absolutely incredible. These two videos were shown and both Chad and I had tears flowing down our cheeks as we watched.

Such an amazing reminder for us to give God thanks for all things, in all circumstances. To know just how amazingly blessed we are. As Pastor Gary said~if you are breathing the breath that God gave you for another moment of life you are blessed. Every single second is a gift.

How Could I Ask For More?

2011-11-23T21:46:00.000-05:00

There's nothing like the warmth of a summer afternoon
Waking to the sunlight, and being cradled my the moon
Catching fireflies at night
Building castles in the sand
Kissing Mama's face goodnight
And holding Daddy's hand

Thank you Lord, how could I ask for more

Running barefoot in the grass
A little hide and go seek
Being so in love, that you can hardly eat
Dancing in the dark, when there's no one else around
Being bundled 'neath the covers, watching snow
Fall to the ground
Thank you Lord, how could I ask for more

So many things I thought would bring me happiness
Some dreams that are realities today
Such an irony the things that mean the most to me
Are the memories that I've made along the way

So if there's anything I've learned
From this journey I am on
Simple truths will keep you going
Simple love will keep you strong
Cause there are questions without answers
Flames that never die
Heartaches we go through are often blessings in disguise

So thank you Lord, oh thank you Lord
How could I ask for more

You Really Must Watch This!

2011-11-17T13:44:00.000-05:00

Oh God of the Universe, Creator of all things. I am humbled and in awe. No words I could ever write on a page could ever convey how much I adore and love you.

How Great Are You God. How GREAT!!!

To Praise

2011-11-15T22:08:00.000-05:00

Faithful

Loving

Friend

Healer

Abba

Counselor

Majestic

Magnificent

Alpha and Omega

Spotless Lamb

Life Giver

Joy Giver

Tear Catcher

Intercessor

Paid My Debt In Full

.....and I belong to Him!!!!!

I lift my hands to believe again, you are my refuge you are my strength. As I pour out my heart these things I remember, you are faithful God forever.

Your Great Name

2011-11-06T22:27:00.002-05:00

To Remember

2011-10-27T16:11:00.003-04:00

I have been keeping the ultrasound picture of the baby we lost tucked in my Bible for the past few months. I would often come across it, as I had placed it in between the pages of one of my favorite Psalms. I decided to take the picture and the diaper I received in my OB welcome bag from my Doctor and put a shadow box display together.

During the time I was working on it God brought a song to mind called Shadowfeet. I found this video on youtube~couldn't be more fitting for this season in my life.

.....When time and space are through, I'll be found in you. Then, my faith will become sight!!! Someday, Lord I will get to meet my precious son or daughter. Until then, hold him or her closely for us! We love you sweet baby in Heaven.

All of my life, in every season

You are still God, I have a reason to sing

I have a reason to worship.

Nothing Is Wasted

2011-10-25T15:26:00.000-04:00

From the ruins, from the ashes...beauty will rise.
From the wreckage, from the darkness....glory will shine.
GLORY will shine!

Help me to know Lord, that nothing is ever wasted.

Fall Camping At Ludington State Park

2011-10-19T20:05:00.002-04:00

Turning 30 Something...

2011-10-18T22:38:00.000-04:00

Look how God painted the sky for me on my Birthday!

Blowing out my Birthday candle.
No wish this year.

My present from Chad...now if I actually get
to use them is another issue. I think
my running days may be over.

Even though Lucas got sick and couldn't
share in any of the Birthday celebration, he
still wanted a picture with the Birthday girl.

I was blessed with the love of family and friends today.
A reminder of the precious things God has given me.
My life is not without struggles, more so this past
year of my life than ever before. But I look to
the coming year with hope.
Turning 37 is a good thing!
Each day God gives to me is a gift that I do not want to waste.

Oh Lord, help me to live each day joy-filled.
To learn from my mistakes and imperfections.
To know that I have a purpose and my life has a plan,
even when at times I feel like it's all falling apart.

I pray my life glorifies you and that my precious children
will see just how much their Momma loves you.

I want to SHINE for you!!!

I don't know what the future holds~but I know who holds the future!

This Morning

2011-10-06T09:06:00.000-04:00

Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. ~Isaiah 40:28-31~

As I'm reading this during devotions this morning the song starts playing on my mp3 player.....so I'm thinking God clearly intends for me to HEAR Him this morning through word and song!!! Thank you Lord for drawing me in so close to you, it's so good to walk in your presence every single moment of each day.

John 10:10

2011-09-29T21:34:00.000-04:00

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy

I have come that they may have life
and have it to the full.

Guess What I Found?

2011-09-27T21:35:00.001-04:00

Remember this post?

Everything Good

2011-09-22T21:39:00.000-04:00

This song brought tears to my eyes this morning.
God is SO incredibly good. All the time. I don't have to look very far to see that in all things, each moment of my life He is in complete control. He wraps me up and holds me close. I don't see the big picture, but He does! Oh how glorious that I am able to walk in the shadow of His grace.

You are EVERYTHING GOOD LORD!!

Busted Heart

2011-09-19T23:21:00.001-04:00

The first time I heard this song last week I was hooked right from the title. Busted heart? Yup, been there. Still there. Will be there again many times as I live my life out on earth, caught up in God's saving grace. I think that many people think Christians live in this bubble where life is perfect, and when it's not we certainly never dare admit it!! We most certainly better never admit to struggling, questioning, doubting. Being angry, hurt, admitting that we are selfish and flawed.  That we struggle with the enemy every single day.

God's grace is so much bigger than all of that. ALL. OF. IT.

The Greatness of God is so much bigger than All. Of. Me.

Today was just a weird day. I know I haven't shared many specific details of how things have been since the loss of our baby this Summer.  My body just is having a very hard time healing and getting regulated. There are several issues that are ongoing and the days are beginning to get long.  Of all things I had to go in to the Doctors office for a pregnancy test today. While I knew it would be negative I must admit I did, for a brief moment (ok...several moments) entertain the idea that maybe...just maybe it would be positive? And wouldn't that be just like God to do something that incredibly huge in my life, because right now I sincerely doubt if we will ever be blessed with another pregnancy. Sometimes my hope just gets lost in all the stuff that cannot seem to be resolved. Of course Satan saw it as another opportunity to get right into my head, planting thoughts that don't belong there. Lies. Telling me that I did not deserve to have another baby because I wasn't a good parent to the 5 I already have.  Amazing how sneaky He can be. What he uses and who to try to break me.

I know that I need to be conformed by God's will and not have my will conform to what I want God to do with my life. If His will is to leave me in this season of being unhealed then I will remain here, because it is for a purpose. If His will is to leave my womb empty then I will still praise Him for the incredibly good things He has given.   Am I praying differently and believing that He will rescue me, of course! Will I still struggle and cry, and at times be unsure of the path He's paved before me~you bet. But I will take my busted heart and still give Him all the glory.

He is worthy, I am not. Yet he gave His most precious gift~the blood of Jesus so that I may live this life with Him.

So, in a nutshell that is where I am and what I am struggling with. If you would like to uplift me in prayer that would be awesome!! I have several Doctor's appointments coming up in the next few weeks and hopefully we can get things turned around! Also, I didn't mention this but I am having some physical issues with my hips and am pretty much unable to run. (That is just another thing the devil is using to keep me away from God.) So, if you could pray about that too and hopefully my physical therapy exercises I was given a few years ago will start helping. Otherwise that will be another appointment to add to the list!!

For King & Country - Busted Heart (Hold On To Me)

Winter has come back again
Feels like the season won't end
My faith is dying tonight
And I won't try to pretend

I've got it all figured out
I don't have any doubts
I've got a busted heart
I need You now
Yeah, I need You now

(Chorus)

Hold on to me, hold on to me
Don't let me lose my way
Hold on to me

I am the wandering son
Your love is never enough
I keep chasing the wind
Instead of chasing Your love

I'm screaming out Your name
Don't let me fall on my face
I've got a busted heart
I'm in need of a change
I'm desperate for grace

Hold on to me, take all of me
Don't let me lose my way
Hold on to me

Broke Your heart a thousand times
But You've never left my side
You have always been here for me

You never let me go
You never let me go
Don't ever let me go

Hold on to me, hold on to me
Don't let me lose my way
Hold on to me
Hold on to me, take all of me
Don't let me lose my way
Hold on to me

Until it comes to an end
Soon this season will end
I'll surrender tonight
You meet me right where I am

The Greatness Of Our God

2011-09-18T22:02:00.000-04:00

I'll spend my life to know, I'm far from close to all you are. The greatness of our God.

No Words To Share

2011-09-15T21:58:00.009-04:00

Just letting the words of this song minister to my heart. It's aching, and the tears oh the tears.

Deep inside this armor...

Basket Full Of Encouragement

2011-09-14T23:04:00.001-04:00

In 1993 while working at the Conference Grounds, I was introduced to warm fuzzies. (Wow...typing that made me realize just how long ago that was and just how OLD I am!!!)

BEST. THINGS. EVER!!!

That is the Summer I learned what it meant to encourage someone. Spontaneous, generous and freely given words of encouragement. A few moments taken to edify someone in Christ for the person they are, the work they do, the light they shine. What they mean in my life.

Words have an impact. They can build someone up, or they can tear them down. They can encourage or discourage. Why is it that we are constantly searching for a blessing, instead of being one?

My encouragement basket.
Warm fuzzies I collected over
the years while working at the
Conference Grounds.

Finally, all of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters.Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude. Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will bless you for it. 1 Peter 3:8-9 NLT

Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. Ephesians 4:29 NLT

Words kill, words give life; they're either poison or fruit—you choose. Proverbs 18:21 * The Message

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you,O Lord, my rock and my redeemer. Psalm 19:14 NLT

The mouth of a good person is a deep, life-giving well, but the mouth of the wicked is a dark cave of abuse. Proverbs 10:11 * The Message

Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near. Hebrews 10:24-25 NLT

We must not just please ourselves. We should help others do what is right and build them up in the Lord. Romans 15:1-2 NLT

So then, let us aim for harmony in the church and try to build each other up. Romans 14:19 NLT

Don't know how to encourage someone? Sit down, grab a piece of paper (or send an e-mail) and write from your heart. Tell them what they mean/have meant to you. Encourage them in their profession. Encourage them in their families. Encourage them during times of struggle. Encourage them during times of joy. Pray for them on paper. Many times I will pray for the words that person needs to hear and the Holy Spirit gives me the words to say.

Don't wait. Pray for God to show you someone that needs encouragement~and then go encourage. You will get blessed!!!

Remind Me Who I Am

2011-09-12T21:27:00.000-04:00

I absolutely love the message in this song/video!

If you need a dose of encouragement as to
who you are in Christ you need to watch this!

I am God's beloved and that will be enough.

~BELOVED~

dearly loved : dear to the heart

Synonyms:

darling; favored; cherished; fond; precious; special

Conference Grounds Blessings

2011-09-07T22:31:00.000-04:00

I am blessed to have grown up camping here.

I am blessed that God grew me over the six Summers I worked here.

I am blessed to be able to share this place with my family.

From Whom All Blessings Flow

2011-09-03T21:36:00.001-04:00

God's amazing tapestry
Christian Reformed Conference Grounds
August 2011

Praise God!

Praise God, who saved my soul.

Praise God!

Praise God from whom all blessings flow.

Finding Rest

2011-08-27T00:00:00.022-04:00

Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in him at all times, O people, pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.

Psalm 62:5-8

My favorite place.

Say The Word

2011-08-26T00:00:00.003-04:00

Say the Word

Whiteheart

Your face shows the secret, hands by your side,

The wounded bird that’s in your eyes is too broken down to fly,

Say the word. (say the word)

It hurts to hear your silence, to watch you slip away,

I want to wrap my arms around your heart, but I’m lost for what to say,

I could say the word. (say the word, say)

For every word he’s sending will never come back empty,

It’s his love raining down…raining down from the sky,

Say the word,

Say the word.

And when I feel the breakers rolling, pounding in my heart, and I’m afraid that I will wash away in my anger and my doubt, I must say the word. (say the word, say)

For every word he sends us holds the power to save us,

It’s his love raining down…raining down from the sky,

Say the word,

Say the word. (hear him saying…)

Come all you weary, and I’ll give you rest,

I’ll never leave you desolate,

I’m the light of the world, come follow me,

I’m the way and the life, and my truth will set you free.

Say the word,

Say the word.

Say the word,

Won’t you say the word?

Say the word

With Everything

2011-08-24T22:12:00.000-04:00

I certainly do not have this life figured out~that's why they call it living by faith.

I do not understand all of God's ways, but I trust in His will and plan. Even when it hurts and I want Him to stop the sifting.

The prayer of my life is that with everything that I am I will praise the Lord. In good times and bad times, happy and sad, drought or harvest. Times of questions, as well as times of answers. I know I need to work on this, because at some of my weakest moments I really struggle.

Lord, let no hesitation pass under my feet before I run and leap into your arms. You are majestic, mighty, glorious, loving, and worthy of all my praise.

I could not live one second of my life without you.

Let hope rise, and darkness tremble...

In your Holy light...

~~~JESUS~~~

With everything...

This Song Makes Me Smile

2011-08-23T13:01:00.001-04:00

In God's eyes I am a treasure and so are you!!!

Wonder

2011-08-20T21:22:00.000-04:00

Wonder

to be filled with admiration, amazement, or awe; marvel 

Wonder of the world~God~you are on display for all to see. For all eternity, with every breath I have I will say so.

All around~in everything. Every single part of my being.

Above me. Below me. In Front. Behind.

Oh, I can't be silent. I can't be quiet. For all you have done for me.

You are the most incredible thing in my life and I love you.

What A Promise!

2011-08-16T21:53:00.002-04:00

Fail Us Not

Failure doesn’t phase You, worry doesn’t win,
Loss doesn’t leave You afraid to start again,
Our sin doesn’t shock You,
Our shame doesn’t shame You at all

Mistakes do not move You, terror doesn’t tame,
Death doesn’t doom You to life in the grave,
Our suffering doesn’t scare You,
Our secrets won’t surprise You at all

There is nothing above You,
There is nothing beyond You,
There is nothing that You can’t do…
There is no one beside You,
There is no one that’s like You,
There is nothing that You can’t do…

Whatever will come, we’ll rise above,
You fail us not, You fail us not,
No matter the war, our hope is secure,
You fail us not, You fail us not,

You fail us not…

Hatred doesn’t hide You, evil doesn’t ail,
Despair can’t disguise You and tell You that You’ve failed,
Our doubt doesn’t daunt You,
Our darkness won’t defeat You at all

You’re bigger than the battle,
You are bigger than the battle
You are bigger than the battle has ever been

When I'm Empty

2011-08-14T19:08:00.001-04:00

Faith will find a way.

The Test Of My Hope

2011-08-11T19:34:00.003-04:00

Ever since we lost our baby, I have felt an extreme test of my faith. Bigger than any test I've ever faced....and I have faced HUGE tests over the course of the last several years. If any of you who read my blog go to Wellspring you may have heard PG's sermon on being sifted. Specifically, he asked if Satan still has access to God. The answer to that is yes. Pastor Gary also talked about how if you are growing in Christ that you are going to be sifted. Let me just say there is some serious sifting going on within me. (This is an incredibly amazing, GOOD thing!) Thank you Lord for sifting me!!!!

Here I am, 6 weeks after my D & C...still having complications that I just do not understand. I am overwhelmed with uncertainty, frustration, weariness. I want so much to be hopeful and trust fully in my creator that all things work together for the good of those who love the Lord. This morning as I was doing my devotions I had a moment of doubt.... that my faith is not deep enough to see God's power in my circumstances.

Then, as if God picked out the verse himself for me to read this morning:

Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. ~Psalm 42:5-6~

I then read the exact same verse in Psalm 42: 11 and Psalm 43: 5! At the same time as I was reading, I was listening to my latest favorite song that talks about having hope in the Lord all the day long. Not being shaken by drought or storm. Waiting on the Lord because He is my refuge. Can you guess what happened next? Yup....tears. Tears of thankfulness for God's gentle voice whispering to me.

Satan wants to steal my hope. Satan wants to steal my faith. Satan wants to steal my joy. He wants me to FAIL. THE. TEST.

Well, sorry to disappoint you Satan, but my hope, faith, and joy is found, and will always be found in Christ my Savior. I may doubt because I am created imperfect, but you will never win. Ever!

I have absolutely NO doubts that God is going to heal what needs to be healed and do something amazing in our lives.

Ephesians 3:20

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.

My Friend

2011-08-10T16:37:00.000-04:00

I'm not sure if you'll ever even read this. If you do (you know who you are), please know that I love you very much!!! =)

Hope

2011-08-09T22:37:00.000-04:00

Hope

to desire something with confident expectation of its fulfillment

My hope is in you Lord...

Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in him at all times, O people, pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge. Psalm 62:5-8

I will wait on you...
We wait in hope for the Lord; he is our help and our shield. Psalm 33:20

Blessings

2011-08-07T22:38:00.001-04:00

Update

2011-08-04T22:58:00.001-04:00

People have been asking about me...sorry I haven't given a "Jenni" update in awhile. =)

As of the last blood test I still had the HCG hormone in my body in a very small amount. It has come down since my last lab~thank you Lord!!

So, hopefully it will just continue to phase itself out of my body, the spotting will stop and we can get on with addressing the other issues I need to address.

Thank you again for your care, concern, prayers, thoughtfulness for myself and my family. God has taught me much through this time and I am thankful for that.

Great Times!

2011-08-02T23:05:00.000-04:00

We had so much fun on our recent BIG Walters family vacation!!!

Lots of fishing, some tubing, paddle boat rides, kayaking, swimming

campfires, movies, great conversations, eating, relaxing....

Good ole' family bonding!

You Never Let Go

2011-07-28T23:55:00.000-04:00

Seeds

2011-07-26T22:30:00.000-04:00

Today when I was mowing the yard I had to go empty the grass in the field behind our house. This is also the place in the Fall, when we are trimming plants and cleaning out the garden that the 'stuff' all gets dumped. Today I noticed mixed in with the weeds were several plants growing that must have sprouted from the seeds of all the junk I dumped back there last Fall.

Funny how I just threw all the stuff there and never, ever gave it another thought until today. Why would I, they're dead right? I've done nothing to cultivate those plants and they have only been watered by God's rain. Yet, there they were growing as strong as ever, some even getting blossoms on them and will probably produce flowers or vegetables.

I had to smile and think how God uses us to plant seeds in people's lives. We 'scatter' seeds by the things we do for one another, by the things we say to one another, by displaying the love of Christ each and every day. The seed you sow into another human heart may change their life. God may take that seed and then use it in a way you will never even be aware of.

It is my heartfelt prayer that the seeds I scatter will have an impact on those around me and God will use me to change the world for Him.

The Pregnancy That Will Never End

2011-07-25T11:56:00.003-04:00

3 + weeks after my D & C, 6 + weeks after we lost the baby I am still having complications from my miscarriage/surgery. My body still thinks I'm pregnant. I still have the HCG hormone floating around in my blood....obviously in much, much smaller amounts then if I were still pregnant. Nonetheless, I have to go back in for another blood test on Friday to see where the levels are at. Please pray that they will come down and that they continue to level out to zero, I really do not want to have to undergo another D & C.

I also have another medical test I need to get done but cannot proceed with that until this issue has been resolved.

It has been an extremely hard few months but I am still clinging to God's hope and HIS timing in all things. Thank you so much for your prayers!!!

Sunglasses, Sweat and What They Hide

2011-07-22T23:12:00.000-04:00

Tears....they hide tears. Did you know that it was possible to actually weep when running? I didn't either~that is until tonight.

From the first line of the song, the lump formed in my throat and I knew it was all over. So many people need your healing Lord, so many and in so many ways.

By your grace I stand Lord, praying that the healing that is in your hand will be poured out upon the people that I love.

Healing~From the Passion Awakening CD

No mountain, no valley, no gain or loss we know
Could keep us from Your love
No sickness, no secret, no chain is strong enough
To keep us from Your love
To keep us from Your love

How high, how wide
No matter where I am, healing is in Your hands
How deep, how strong,
And now by Your grace I stand, healing is in Your hands

Our present, our future, our past is in Your hands
We're covered by Your blood
We're covered by Your blood

How high, how wide
No matter where I am, healing is in Your hands
How deep, how strong
And now by Your grace I stand, healing is in Your hands

In all things, we know that.
We are more than conquerors.
You keep us by your love.
You keep us by your love.

How high, how wide

No matter where I am, healing is in Your hands
How deep, how strong,
And now by Your grace I stand, healing is in Your hands.

Ludington Summer 2011 Memories

2011-07-22T13:08:00.005-04:00

Click 'play' to see pictures from our most recent camping trip.

This was a fun and very busy vacation.

While it was nice to get away,

I was ready to get home again. Guess my heart just wasn't totally in 'vacation mode'.

Of course when we got home I was ready to turn around and go back!! =)

How Amazed I Am

2011-07-19T13:31:00.000-04:00

Last night while I was running this song came on my mp3 player...and I continued to hit 'repeat' over and over for the next 4 miles. =) Oh God I am so completely amazed by you, in so many ways over the years of my life. Walking in the deepest valleys or the highest mountaintops~Lord you have completely overwhelmed my heart.

Your glory fills the sky

A great and holy light

Shining like a million stars

I'm amazed by who you are

Lord, we lift you high

Oh God be magnified

You have overwhelmed my heart

I'm amazed by who you are.

Remind Me Who I Am

2011-07-11T06:33:00.000-04:00

I'm the one you love.....that will be enough. I belong to you.

Update

2011-07-09T23:10:00.001-04:00

Well, it has been over a week since we found out we lost our precious baby and I had to undergo a D&C. There have been good days and some really hard days over this past week. Because I have not ever experienced a miscarriage before I am walking through new territory. My emotions are all over the place both because I'm grieving but also because I still have pregnancy hormones flowing through my body. Those little buggers could be around for weeks yet.

I have had some complications after my surgery. Leave it to me to be a complicated patient!! All you have to do is read Caleb's birth story to know I just don't do things easy. Right now I am praying that God will bless my body with healing so that I can keep taking baby steps forward and moving along down the path God has layed out for me.

Thank you for continued prayers!!!

Continuing to trust Him!!!

Hard Day

2011-07-06T22:56:00.001-04:00

Today was absolutely awful. I was so, so sad. Overwhelmed with grief. Every time I turned around this morning I couldn't stop crying. Adding insult to injury I am having some issues with recovery not going as well as it should.

I tell you for as strong as I am in my faith and I KNOW God has this all under control...Satan is fighting me every single step. Guess he just does not get it~he will not win.

Back in January I posted this song and said singing Hallelujah is a choice. No matter what Lord, I can and I will sing Hallelujah. I want to run down the road with my arms raised to Jesus singing the words "and though it seems hard, I'm still trusting you Lord". Thank you Lord for your grace, pouring over me in the middle of my grief. I love you more than anything in life!

5 Years Ago

2011-07-04T23:56:00.001-04:00

How much we miss you Dad and Grandpa! We cannot believe that it was 5 years ago your battle with cancer ended and God ushered you into His Kingdom.

I still remember leaving the hospital after Dad passed away, getting into my van, turning it on and this song was playing on the radio:

God you are an AMAZING God!!!! Even in the very moment of our deepest grief you sent a reminder to us that better is one day in the house of the Lord, then thousands elsewhere....and Dad was in that house!!!

Amazing Friends and Family...

2011-07-01T15:54:00.001-04:00

I am completely overwhelmed by the incredible amount of love our family has been covered in over the past week. The prayers, thoughts,e-mail messages, phone calls and messages revealing some of your own stories has helped to carry our family through a difficult time. Just as I'm writing this I got a phone call from our awesome Church that someone is bringing us dinner next week. What a huge blessing to belong to such an incredible body of believers.

We know that many people wait to share their news of pregnancy until the 'critical' period has passed. We have always veered the other way and couldn't wait to spill the news as soon as we knew because we were so excited. The other reason though that Chad and I have never waited to 'share' is that in case something were to go wrong, like this loss, we knew we could enlist a group of prayer warriors to come before the throne of God on our behalf. Thank you so much for everything~you've blessed us!

Last night as the house was quiet I found it extremely difficult to fall asleep, first of all because I had the most excruciating headache and I couldn't take anything for it, besides the Tylenol that didn't help. Then the awful anxiety kicked in about being put to sleep for the surgery. I just kept repeating in my head "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition present your requests to God". So, as I lay there praying for God to quiet my restless spirit He started sending songs~and I mean He was like a DJ, just kept 'em coming in my head for hours. =) It was some of the most incredible time I have spent with the Lord. Today, when I went to rest for a bit He just kept doing the same thing. He has blessed my life with the love of music and used it to speak softly to my soul. I would be praying or thinking of a scripture verse and in an instant some song would come to mind. It has been an incredible time of worship and praise~right in the middle of my grief and sorrow.

The procedure went well this morning~praise God! There were no complications during surgery and we're continuing to pray there will be none during the recovery period. I feel relatively good, except for the lack of sleep. I am so thankful for my husband~he is my rock. I couldn't love anyone more on this Earth. We have been on an incredible journey of mountaintops and valleys together and survived many storms with God at the center of our marriage. I do not thank God enough for the blessing he is both as a husband and a father. I cannot wait to see what the next brush stroke of the picture God is painting looks like!

"No one is like you, O Lord; you are great, and your name is mighty in power."

Jeremiah 10:6

God's Plans

2011-06-30T20:20:00.002-04:00

Let me just start off by saying that our family believes with every ounce of who we are that God's plans far outweigh what our human minds can possibly fathom. We do not always understand His ways~but trust Him fully to fulfill the purpose He has for each and every one of our lives.

Each day, each moment of our lives is just a brush stroke of the picture He is painting. How awesome to watch things unfold and see just how God works, through trials and blessings. Through what He gives and what He takes away.

Our sweet baby is resting in the amazing arms of Jesus tonight. I went for an ultra-sound this afternoon and the baby did not have a heartbeat. I am supposed to be 11 weeks + 2 days but the baby only measured 8 weeks. I am scheduled to have a D & C tomorrow morning at 7:15. Please pray that there are no complications and that God's hands will be with the Doctor. The same Doctor that has delivered all 5 of our precious boys will be doing the procedure. I am so thankful for an amazing, Christian Doctor. We love him more than words could ever say.

We are very sad that I have miscarried, but we know God is in control of ALL things. We feel so blessed beyond measure in all things that He has given~and even in the things He has taken away. We have an amazing hope in God's plan and HE gives us a peace that passes all understanding.

All of my life,

In every season,

You are still God, I have a reason to sing.

I have a reason to worship.

Our Camping Trip

2011-06-28T16:02:00.000-04:00

Pregnancy Update

2011-06-27T22:47:00.000-04:00

Just a short note to let people know what has been going on the past few weeks with baby #6.

Went in two Friday's ago for my first prenatal appointment and as part of the exam had an ultrasound done. Doctor didn't see what he was looking for....maybe due to my uterus being posterior. So, went back in today and this time we did see baby but are unsure about a heartbeat.

So, I have to have a formal ultrasound scan done at the hospital on Thursday. I will be 10 weeks tomorrow so we should have been able to see cardiac activity. Praying they see a little flutter on Thursday.

Continuing to trust in God's plan.

2011-06-17T23:48:00.001-04:00

~~Philippians 4:6-7~~

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Be still...

Grape

2011-06-15T21:38:00.000-04:00

Little peanut is the size of a grape this week. Who knew something the size of a grape could wear you out before you even get out of bed in the morning.

Yup...that's it folks. This is the extent of this blog post because I'm exhausted!! ;-)

My Child's Heart

2011-06-06T22:27:00.002-04:00

Ethan is the oldest of our 5 kiddos, he is just finishing his last year in Elementary school. He is an all around great kid with a sensitive and caring heart.

I wanted to rescue that heart today.

He is a trumpet player in the band at school, in his second year. He LOVES his band teacher...our family LOVES his band teacher. Today Ethan learned some very sad news about his teacher. They were expecting baby # 6 in a few weeks. This past Friday the students were told that their teacher was at the hospital with his wife because the baby was coming early. Today they learned the baby is now in the arms of Jesus.

Ethan is working through a vast array of feelings and questions. Please keep the students and more importantly, the family in your prayers if you think of it. The band director is in charge of all the bands grades 4th-12th.

Sticks and Stones

2011-06-06T21:21:00.000-04:00

Sticks and Stones ~ Wes King

One time or another everyone I've known has taken a beating
From these sticks and stones
Well they're words with sharp edges hurled at the heart
By tongues of fire they tear you apart

Sticks and stones
Condescending tones
Bruise the spirit and break the bones
Read these tombstones, cause of death unknown
Words that kill are
Sticks and stones

I must admit my skin is thin
Words like these can make my heart cave in
Well, they'll tear me apart
Make me feel alone
Would you stop throwing these sticks and stones

Sticks and stones and
Condescending tones
Bruise my spirit, and break my bones
Read these tombstones, cause of death unknown
Words that kill are
Sticks and stones

O be careful little mouth what you say

For the Father up above

Is looking down in love

So, be careful little mouth what you say

Oh BaBy!!!!

2011-06-02T22:52:00.000-04:00

By now I'm guessing that most of my blog readers know our BIG news....but just in case you don't....

BaBy # 6 is on its way~~sometime in January!!

We are thrilled, excited, and SO thankful to God for this answer to prayer. A prayer we have prayed for a long time...it has been a journey.

Thank you Lord, for the waiting room and for saying YES!!!!

To be continued....when I'm not so tired!!! (So...maybe in 20 years~HA!!) =)

Happy Birthday Caleb!!

2011-05-31T23:03:00.000-04:00

Cannot believe that Caleb is 2! He is so much fun, and adored by all of his big brothers. What JOY he brings to our lives.

What Would I Do With It?

2011-05-25T22:50:00.002-04:00

Like tomorrow was a gift,
And you got eternity,
To think about what you’d do with it.
And what did you do with it?
And what did I do with it?
And what would I do with it?

The City Harmonic

2011-05-14T21:46:00.000-04:00

For Whatever It's Worth

2011-05-05T16:52:00.001-04:00

You think you know me, but do you?

Just because I do not have a job that I get in a car and drive to does not mean that I do not work.

I realize that in certain people's eyes I am not worth much. I have made no significant impact upon the outside world. The only title I have is 'Mom' and the only payment I receive is the occasional quarter that is found in my washing machine. =)

Do you know what if feels like when you hear "well, she can do (fill in the blank) all day because she just stays at home. Or how you go on and on about how important your position is, your 'title' and that your company/boss just would never make it without the contribution that you make on a daily basis. Yet, here I am waiting for someone to ask me how I am but that never occurs in the conversation because "well, you are just a stay at home mom".

Do you know what it sounds like when you say to me "well, you must be rich because you don't work" or "you must have so much money, you send your kids to private school". Let me just be perfectly clear here....we're not rich (financially) by any stretch of the imagination. We feel the 'pinch' of life every single day. Being a very large family we have to make many, many sacrifices. We try our best with what God has blessed us with and trust Him to provide for us in all areas of our lives. We however are 'rich' in many other ways!!

I am a pretty sensitive person, whether that is fortunate or unfortunate I am unsure. I just really dislike it when people pass judgement on others without even knowing what the other one is going through. Until you have walked a single step in my shoes, please do not think you know me or what my life is like.

Quite honestly I think if we all took a little more time to get outside of our own little world or try to see what another person's life is really like, I think we'd all be surprised at what we'd find out.

I Still Believe

2011-04-28T23:07:00.001-04:00

Sometimes (okay, with me a lot of the time) when there are no words to write there is music that says it all. I have loved this song for many years. Recently, it has become a favorite to listen to while running...and I know that I sing this one out loud for sure!!! =)

Yes Lord, oh I still believe!!!

(If you like this Russ Taff song you may also like this one from an earlier post.)

In Awe

2011-04-23T22:53:00.000-04:00

I stand, I stand in awe of you.
I stand, I stand in awe of you.
Holy God, to whom all praise is due
I stand in awe of you.

Thank you Jesus for paying the ultimate price for my life. I love you with all of my heart and soul.

It's Friday...But Sunday Is Coming

2011-04-21T22:14:00.000-04:00

A Love That Will Not Let Me Go

2011-04-20T21:51:00.000-04:00

I hear you in the quiet whispers of my soul Lord, a love that will not let me go.

Be still and know that I am God....Be Still....

Lift Me Up

2011-04-17T22:44:00.000-04:00

Love, love, love this song!!!

God Promises...

2011-04-17T22:36:00.000-04:00

to defend you
to rescue you
to deliver you
to come to you
to hear you
to not leave you
to lift you up
to lead you out
to be your Father
to make you a home
to not forget you
to execute true justice for you
to give you food and clothing
to help you
to maintain your cause

Butterflies

2011-04-10T21:55:00.000-04:00

I'm Still Yours

2011-04-03T22:39:00.002-04:00

If I lost it all, would my hands stay lifted
To the God who gives and takes away.
If you take it all, this life you've given
Still my heart will sing to you.

Blessed Be Your Name

2011-03-29T21:50:00.001-04:00

The Lord gives and the Lord takes away~may the name of the Lord be praised. Even when it's hard to say it Lord, blessed be your name. Grieving the loss of a precious child at JJ's preschool. Very tough day today~HUG your kids and tell them that you love them because you just never know.

Life is a vapor.

Because Someone Else Needed My Seat...

2011-03-27T22:40:00.001-04:00

Tonight we were supposed to enjoy a concert with friends. I was going to get to see some of my favorite Christian music singers like Newsboys, Kutless, Newsong and many others.

I was SUPER excited to worship tonight and sing along with Newsong:

However, God had other plans.

I do not believe in coincidence.

I do not believe that tonight we waited in line for an hour and a half to pay our $10 to get in, only to get up to the front of the arena with a hundred or so people in front of us and have the doors close~sold out.

I do believe that if we would have been just a little earlier we would have gotten into the concert, but then someone else who needed my seat would not have.

Someone else, who needed to hear the message of the saving grace of Jesus. The life, death and resurrection of God's most precious gift. Someone else would not have possibly been able to make the most important decision of their life.

So, because I KNOW God had plans for that someone else to be in the seat that I thought I was going to be in I will gladly rejoice in missing out on the concert.

Week In Pictures

2011-03-26T21:52:00.001-04:00

Caleb snuggling his baby
(which is my old strawberry shortcake doll)
Think he'll get mad if this is on his picture board
for high school graduation? =)

Caleb's latest thing to do for fun....spice tower

There is a brother under that huge pile of blankets, pillows,
stuffed animals and whatever else they could find.

JJ being goofy in my hat while
doing his breathing treatment
for pneumonia

Mercy Came Running

2011-03-25T22:24:00.000-04:00

Some days, when there is absolutely nowhere left to go

Mercy Came Running~PRAISE GOD!!!

Some Days...

2011-03-23T23:53:00.001-04:00

Life is not always a big bunch of roses. Sometimes it is just so hard. Sometimes life really, really hurts. Sometimes the people you thought really cared, really don't. Sometimes I just want to go hide in my closet and cry so hard that there are just no tears left. You know, that cleansing type of cry. Get. It. All. Out.

I am stuck in a place right now that I've been struggling with for weeks. I know God is here~working~but yet I find myself hearing the devil's lies over and over.

On my own...
I am weak, yet God is strong.
I am without hope, God is FULL of hope.
I am restless, God is peace.
I am friendless, God is my friend.
I am foolish, God is wise.
I am unimportant, God wants to use me for His glory.
I have no purpose, God has a plan.

To Be Continued...

Always Come Back

2011-03-22T23:05:00.000-04:00

This song is OLD! It's so old that when I sang this in Churches I used an accompaniment track on cassette!! However, I still love it and find such meaning in the lyrics. I can look back and remember specific times in my life when this song was so fitting for what I was going through.

I love this verse:
Funny here I am again
Looking for the answers down on my knees
Shouldn't be so hard to understand,
You're all I want, you're all I need

Especially during the last several weeks this verse has been so true. God is at work in BIG ways. I love it how He is constantly showing me things, growing me, changing me. When I am unsteady, He is strong. When I doubt, He holds the future. When I cry, He wipes my tears. When I run in search of something I do not need, HE COMES RUNNING AFTER ME. I will always come back.

I have nothing and am nothing without God. Nothing.

Every single day God I am amazed by you!!! Oh, how I love you Lord.

Thoughts

2011-03-18T21:47:00.001-04:00

Steve Camp, a Contemporary Christian Musician for the last 30 + years, now also a Pastor had a few thoughts to share on his facebook page this week concerning Rob Bell. I say he hits the nail on the head.

Another blog post worth reading:
God Is Still Holy and What You Learned in Sunday School Is Still True: A Review of “Love Wins”

Where do I stand?
Well, this was my facebook status today:
Love won ~ crown of thorns, nail pierced hands, death on a cross. I am FREE from a life spent in an eternal hell~thank you JESUS for the gift of eternal life that I will get to spend with you in heaven. In YOU I place my hope and my faith. No man, no book written will ever make me question what you did for me.

I have so many other thoughts and feelings but I just cannot get them out of my head into this blog post. So, I'll share Steve's thoughts with you and the video that prompted the discussion over the last few days.

Steve Camp's thoughts:

Rob Bell is a confused young man who is blasphemous and heretical on the most elemental issues of biblical Christianity. He needs regeneration and/or discipleship. This new book of his isn't a serious work about God's love, the gospel, heaven, hell, or the Lord Jesus Christ. It is shallow, trite, childish, and vacant of biblical truth. He asks many helpful questions, but provides no answers rooted in God's Word. In short, Bell is a wolf amongst thousands undiscerning sheep. He is not a pastor; he is a theological preditor. If you attend his "church" you need to run.

This is not an "eat the meat and throw away the bones" issue. This is a truth issue concerning the nature and character of Jesus Christ the Lord, the veracity of Scripture, His holiness and all things concerning w...hat He has instructed about heaven and hell especially about those who reject Christ and His gospel. Bell has sought to redefine all those essentials by one thing, his ability to ask question upon question which have no bearing on these things. You should be concerned for him. His words are leading millions away from the biblical Jesus and His gospel.
Have you read his book? I have. It's unfortunate and tragic. I will continue to pray for him that his eyes will be opened to the biblical gospel and that he would repent and truly come to know the Jesus of the bible and not the one he has invented. That is the mostnloving thing we could hope for him.

...it's what Rob has said in his book: "we shape our God and then our God shapes us." IOW, create God in your own image and it will create who you are. This is exactly what Rob has done. He has shaped an image of God that is not the God ...of the Bible and now IT is shaping him.

You don't invite a wolf to sit down for a nice, calm discussion with shepherds. You call him to repentance! Truth matters; doctrine matters; theology matters; the Lordship of Jesus Christ matters; the gospel matters; the holiness of God matters; heaven and hell matters; the veracity of Scripture matters; and God's love matters!
Here is the heavenily charge, not for the apostate false teacher or wolf in sheep's clothing, but the true man of God!
2 Tim:4 1-5 "I charge you in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who is to judge the living and the dead, and by his ...appearing and his kingdom: 2 preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching. 3 For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, 4 and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths. 5 As for you, always be sober-minded, endure suffering, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry."

Busy Days

2011-03-12T18:12:00.001-05:00

Several weeks ago I posted this blog...guess my life is just always crazy and busy. =) BLESSED!! Here are a few pictures taken over the past few weeks and a youtube video that is one of my favorite songs from long ago.

The boys and their Awana derby cars

My new favorite running shirt

Professional dress-up day
Ethan~scientist
Lucas~firefighter
Wesley~builder

Caleb wanted to 'dress-up' too!!

My new license plate~says everything about
my life~thank you Lord!!!

A new (old) CD that I picked up at one of my favorite places

Love's Treasures is from 1993 by Wes King

called The Robe.

Because Without You Lord, I Am Nothing

2011-03-07T21:38:00.001-05:00

In The Middle

2011-03-03T23:08:00.001-05:00

Today I had an interesting day. I got to talk on the phone with a friend for almost two hours, uninterrupted. That is a priceless thing to a busy mom of 5 kiddos. I simply do not get to ever have a phone conversation without some sort of interruption or detail that I need to handle~ever.

It was a conversation completely driven by God, led by God, focused on God. We both are struggling with some pretty big things. While they are different, we found in common that God is using this to show himself in ways we would have missed seeing otherwise.

The other spectacular thing to arise out of this is I have a friend who is going to be diligently praying for me and me for her...and we will hold each other accountable to check in with one another every week to see how things are going. We both discussed how hard it is to tell someone something, have that person tell you they're praying and then never have any follow through. I need to hold myself accountable to her and to God to connect every week with her. It is so easy to tell someone you'll be praying, but to actually keep connected with people you tell that to is a difficult task at times.

I am so thankful that God blocked out that time today and for a Godly friend who wants to be in the middle of it all with me. My spirits were refreshed.

Thank you Lord that you are in constant pursuit of me, even when I fail to see it. Thank you for allowing me the grace I don't deserve each and every day to grow in you. I am blessed.

No Matter What

2011-03-02T21:11:00.000-05:00

Why Wesley Hates Thunderstorms

2011-03-01T20:18:00.000-05:00

7 years ago, at 8:10 pm Wesley entered the world during a severe thunderstorm. That must be the reason why he FREAKS out every time he hears a rumble of thunder. =)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WES!!! WE LOVE YOU!!!

February 28, 1998

2011-02-27T23:11:00.002-05:00

(click on play to watch video)

I cannot believe that we have been married 13 years!!! We have shared an incredible journey together. You are an amazing husband and dad. Every single day I am so blessed by you, what a gift God has given me!

Sometimes I love you so much I feel like I could burst! =) I love you more with each passing day~Happy 13th Anniversary!!!

Love,

Jen

Whole Hand Day

2011-02-19T23:31:00.000-05:00

Hard to believe that Jackson (better known as JJ) celebrated turning 5 today. I seem to say this all the time, but really where does the time go? It was a pretty low-key day as we are having a little get-together later next week to celebrate Wesley and JJ's Birthday's together. JJ wasn't feeling the greatest today but he tried to enjoy the fact that it was "whole hand day". =)

I'm 5!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JJ doing his Star War pose with his new
Leapster Star Wars

This is how we ended the night, a lovely breathing treatment
to hopefully bring some relief. Quite the sad face!!

Sad attempt at JJ's cake, of course when you have a 20-month

old hanging on your leg and 4 other boys wanting to 'help' I

guess that is what happens. (The green blob is supposed

to be a soccer ball getting kicked into the net, the green 'S' is

for State). And now you see why I will never work in a bakery!!

How To Train A Dragon T-shirt...my awesome $1.00
clearance find at Wal Mart. After JJ opened it Caleb wanted
to try it on....too bad the opening of the shirt wouldn't fit
over Caleb's HUGE head!!

Walk Between The Lines

2011-02-17T22:20:00.013-05:00

Deuteronomy 6: 6-9 The Message

Write these commandments that I've given you today on your hearts. Get them inside of you and then get them inside your children. Talk about them wherever you are, sitting at home or walking in the street; talk about them from the time you get up in the morning to when you fall into bed at night. Tie them on your hands and foreheads as a reminder; inscribe them on the doorposts of your homes and on your city gates.

Joshua 1: 1-9 The Message

After the death of Moses the servant of God, God spoke to Joshua, Moses' assistant:

"Moses my servant is dead. Get going. Cross this Jordan River, you and all the people. Cross to the country I'm giving to the People of Israel. I'm giving you every square inch of the land you set your foot on—just as I promised Moses. From the wilderness and this Lebanon east to the Great River, the Euphrates River—all the Hittite country—and then west to the Great Sea. It's all yours. All your life, no one will be able to hold out against you. In the same way I was with Moses, I'll be with you. I won't give up on you; I won't leave you. Strength! Courage! You are going to lead this people to inherit the land that I promised to give their ancestors. Give it everything you have, heart and soul. Make sure you carry out The Revelation that Moses commanded you, every bit of it. Don't get off track, either left or right, so as to make sure you get to where you're going. And don't for a minute let this Book of The Revelation be out of mind. Ponder and meditate on it day and night, making sure you practice everything written in it. Then you'll get where you're going; then you'll succeed. Haven't I commanded you? Strength! Courage! Don't be timid; don't get discouraged. God, your God, is with you every step you take."

Walk Between The Lines~Russ Taff

When the night breaks in I won't spin
Far away from what I know is real
In this heart of mine
Light will shine
For I have found my chart to pilot me

Walk between the lines
Through this life and times
My heart is hitting hard upon your Word
Walk between the lines
Seeing surer signs
My heart is hidden deep between the lines

When the days ahead seem full of dread
And I'm afraid of what the future finds
There's this place I know I can go
I'll find the peace to clear my clouded mind

Walk between the lines
Through this life and times
My heart is hitting hard upon your Word
Walk between the lines
Finding deeper minds
My heart is hidden deep between the lines

Protected, protected in your arms

When the night breaks in I won't spin
So far away from what I know is real
If my friends turn away I won't sway
For I have found my chart to pilot me

Walk between the lines
Through this life and times
My heart is hitting hard upon your Word
Walk between the lines
Finding deeper minds
My heart is hidden deep between the lines
Walk between the lines

Through this life and times
My heart is hitting hard upon your Word
Walk between the lines
Seeing surer signs
My heart is hidden deep between the lines

Today my heart is deeply hidden between the lines.

I have listened to this song over and over (and over) this past week. It's been on my kitchen radio, it's on my mp3 player. (I even caught myself singing it out loud when running the other day). I have many, many favorite songs/artists but this is right at the top. My favorite radio station had 'way back Wednesday' this week. Listeners got to request old songs that they haven't heard in awhile. How cool did my kids think it was when they heard the DJ say my name and then start playing this song. =) Hopefully it ministered to someone the way it has to me over the past several days. (Or should I say years??!!)

Evidence Of Love ~ First Call (1993)

2011-02-16T22:41:00.001-05:00

Love

2011-02-14T07:33:00.000-05:00

1 Corinthians 13 (The Message)

The Way of Love

If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love, I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. If I speak God's Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, "Jump," and it jumps, but I don't love, I'm nothing. If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love.

Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
Love doesn't strut,
Doesn't have a swelled head,
Doesn't force itself on others,
Isn't always "me first,"
Doesn't fly off the handle,
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn't revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.
Love never dies.

Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit. We know only a portion of the truth, and what we say about God is always incomplete. But when the Complete arrives, our incompletes will be canceled.

When I was an infant at my mother's breast, I gurgled and cooed like any infant. When I grew up, I left those infant ways for good.

We don't yet see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!

But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love.

Weekend

2011-02-13T20:08:00.000-05:00

Part of Wesley and JJ's Birthday present was to go see the Monster Trucks. Lots of fun!!

Caleb made it through the first half, then the very tired
and very cranky baby just couldn't handle it anymore.
So out we went to sit in the van while the boys watched
almost all of the second half.

What better way to end the weekend with God painting the sky so beautiful!!

The snow is melting!!! I got to run two days in a row outside. Today included a 6 mile run on almost snow and ice free pavement. It was glorious. =) I am ready for Spring!!! The boys had tons of fun playing outside yesterday. While they are anxious for Spring too I don't think they are quite ready to say goodbye to Winter completely. They had fun working on their snow fort and snowmobiling with Dad.

I Will Stand By You ~ Rachel Rachel (1991)

2011-02-12T23:10:00.001-05:00

Old video/song, but still amazing lyrics that have meant so much to me over the years...and still do today.

Joy In The Journey

I Love This Man

Loud And Clear

Sometimes He Comes In The Clouds

Strong Enough

Not The News We Wanted To Have To Share

Long Overdue Update

Happy Birthday Boys!!!

Thinking Of Our Sweet Baby In Heaven...

Only In Michigan...

Finally A New Recipe Everyone Was Happy With

My Favorite Song Of 2011...

Top Blog Posts Of 2011

Merry CHRISTmas

Requested Recipes...Snickers Surprise Cookies, Slow Cooker Lasagna, White Chicken Chili

While The Cookie Dough Chills...

Give It Away

My Prayer Today

Thankfulness

How Could I Ask For More?

You Really Must Watch This!

To Praise

Your Great Name

To Remember

Nothing Is Wasted

Fall Camping At Ludington State Park

Turning 30 Something...

This Morning

John 10:10

Guess What I Found?

Everything Good

Busted Heart

The Greatness Of Our God

No Words To Share

Basket Full Of Encouragement

Remind Me Who I Am

Conference Grounds Blessings

From Whom All Blessings Flow

Finding Rest

Say The Word

With Everything

This Song Makes Me Smile

Wonder

What A Promise!

When I'm Empty

The Test Of My Hope

My Friend

Hope

Blessings

Update

Great Times!

You Never Let Go

Seeds

The Pregnancy That Will Never End

Sunglasses, Sweat and What They Hide

Ludington Summer 2011 Memories

How Amazed I Am

Remind Me Who I Am

Update

Hard Day

5 Years Ago

Amazing Friends and Family...

God's Plans

Our Camping Trip

Pregnancy Update

Grape

My Child's Heart

Sticks and Stones

Oh BaBy!!!!

Happy Birthday Caleb!!

What Would I Do With It?

The City Harmonic

For Whatever It's Worth

I Still Believe

In Awe

It's Friday...But Sunday Is Coming

A Love That Will Not Let Me Go

Lift Me Up

God Promises...

Butterflies