Bits And Pieces

Little bits and pieces of our lives lately.....

Caleb

Wesley

Lucas

Jackson

Ethan

March didn't yield us any snow days...but it did give
us a 2 hour fog day. I took this after the boys got on
the bus~it had lifted quite a bit.

The weather has been so absolutely crazy
beautiful! We ate dinner on our deck on March 19th.

If you look closely you'll see that Caleb
thought he could wash his hands by himself.
Chad hears him while out in the garage saying
'Dad, help me, bubbles overflowing'.....

We have been so blessed with some incredible, record breaking, Summer-like temperatures.  Day after day displays the beauty of early Spring. Sweet, gentle breezes blowing in through the open windows.  It has been so refreshing for our family to have a new season be upon us. We have been enjoying it to the fullest! Playing outside, enjoying time with friends around a campfire, hanging out with the neighbors. Working on cleaning up landscaping at home and our Church. Enjoying and thankful for all the moments God has given us, and totally loving the shorts/t-shirts weather!!

To have July type weather for this long of a stretch in Michigan is unheard of and it will be difficult to go back to 'normal' Michigan weather. 

The Hurt And The Healer

I absolutely love, love, love this song.  It fits my life right now so amazingly well.

...Jesus come and break my fear

Awake my heart and take my tears

Find Your glory even here

When the hurt and the healer collide...

To Think About You

We think about you and your brother or sister often . We wonder what it is like to worship God Almighty, and we must admit that we're a bit jealous you already have met Jesus!!!  We can only imagine the incredible place that Heaven must be.

Even though we only were able to celebrate you growing inside my tummy for a very few short weeks, we fell in love with you. We were all so excited to meet you, and take care of you. To watch you grow and be a part of our family. We know that God's will is not our own and while we do not understand His ways, we trust in Him completely. 

Until we get to meet you, have fun running on the streets of gold with your brother or sister. We miss you, we will always love you, and you will forever remain in our hearts.

I Love This Man

February 28, 1998 was the BEST day of my life. But every single day since then has been even better because I have gotten to spend all of them with my best friend. So, Chad when you read this just know I love you more than life itself and I am so grateful to God for hand-picking you just for me!!! I cannot imagine my life without you. Thank you for taking me on the most incredible adventure and sticking by my side whether we're upon the mountains or hikng through the valleys of life. We are so very, very blessed. Happy 14th Anniversary!!

Loud And Clear

For I am crucified with Christ and yet I live.

Not I, but Christ that lives within me.

His cross will never ask for more, than I can give,

For it's not my strength but His.

There's no greater sacrifice, for I am crucified with Christ

and yet I live.

While standing at the kitchen sink doing dishes this morning God so clearly spoke these words to me, I swear He was standing close enough to breathe on me and make my hair move.

I would choose no other way, nor change anything that has happened along the journey. Thanks be to God for sending His precious son to shed his blood so that I may live.

Sometimes He Comes In The Clouds

How am I?

Do you really want to know? Do I really want to share my heart?


Honestly, I don't know how I'm doing. (Let me stress this does not mean I do not know WHO I am, or WHOSE perfect will I am being held in). Many of the hours this past week have been spent doing what I always am doing...Mom stuff. But then there are moments that I suddenly get caught up in what just happened again to my heart, to my body and I just weep.

Second miscarriage definitely more difficult than the first. It was much easier the first time around to fully believe that it was random, most likely a chromosome abnormality. After our first miscarriage I had this hope inside of me that it happened for reasons only God knew and I would still be able to become pregnant again with a healthy pregnancy. This time though, I feel like it's somehow more my fault and less of some random occurrence.  Maybe because they both occurred at almost the same gestational time as one another?  Maybe because I've read that the chance of having a second miscarriage is extremely low, and to have another that is caused by a genetic problem is even lower.

How many things in life though cause us to have questions and no answers? After all, God is God and we are not, so there are just some things we will never know, understand or comprehend on this side of Heaven. Praise God my faith follows me into the dark, shadowy places of life.

I think the hardest part this time around is the hope that has been shattered. Scattered into too many pieces to find and be put back together....on my own.  I have to rely on God to find them all and put them back into place. To know that while our prayer for another baby was answered only briefly, that God gives and takes away, my heart will choose to say, blessed be your name. (Did you read that Satan???)

Strong Enough

You must
You must think I'm strong
To give me what I'm going through

Well, forgive me
Forgive me if I'm wrong
But this looks like more than I can do
On my own

I know I'm not strong enough to be
everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up
I'm not strong enough
Hands of mercy won't you cover me
Lord right now I'm asking you to be
Strong enough
Strong enough
For the both of us

Well, maybe
Maybe that's the point
To reach the point of giving up

Cause when I'm finally
Finally at rock bottom
Well, that's when I start looking up
And reaching out

I know I'm not strong enough to be
Everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up
I'm not strong enough
Hands of mercy won't you cover me
Lord right now I'm asking you to be
Strong enough
Strong enough

Cause I'm broken
Down to nothing
But I'm still holding on to the one thing
You are God
and you are strong
When I am weak

I can do all things
Through Christ who gives me strength
And I don't have to be
Strong enough
Strong enough

I can do all things
Through Christ who gives me strength
And I don't have to be
Strong enough
Strong enough

Oh, yeah

I know I'm not strong enough to be
Everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up
I'm not strong enough
Hands of mercy won't you cover me
Lord right now I'm asking you to be
Strong enough
Strong enough
Strong enough

(Strong Enough~Matthew West)

I do not have to have a repeat blood test tomorrow morning.  We are no longer concerned about the possibility of an ectopic pregnancy in addition to the intrauterine pregnancy.  I am scheduled for surgery at 10:45 tomorrow morning. 

Today was hard.  I still feel incredibly sick and I'm very exhausted. The reality of knowing there is no longer any reason behind feeling that way made the day seem very long.