Thursday, September 4, 2014

Just Today

Sometimes days are absolutely overwhelming and I wonder how in the world I could have ever even thought I could handle having another baby.  Many times recently the words "you're nuts" have echoed in my mind. I haven't had a date with my husband in over 7 months. I feel like I miss 1/2 of the conversations my kids attempt to have with me, because I am always doing something that requires the other 1/2 of my attention. Did I mention the calendar for this month?? Something on it every single day. The lack of sleep makes my brain foggy and my fuse short some days. My almost 40 something body is achy, wrinkly and definitely pudgy in places it was not before. I am unable to run, which is something I miss deeply. My house at best resembles a store after a black Friday crowd has busted through the doors and picked up items only to set them down right where they DON'T belong.

BUT THEN I JUST LOOK AT HER. Yes, this beautiful reminder that after the sorrow and heartache of 3 miscarriages the Lord BLESSED our family with another baby. He most certainly did not have to answer the cries of our hearts in this way~but HE did. THAT makes my heart sing!! With HIS help, I can do this!!!

So, today (because that's as much as I can see) I will take each moment as it comes. I will reheat my coffee a dozen times. I will overlook the mountains of laundry, the dust bunnies accumulating in the corners. The dirty dishes stacked in my sink, pleading for me to scrub them. I will do what I can, with what time I have, but I WON'T miss out on the precious moments with the gifts (all 6 of them) that God has entrusted to me.

Lord, help me remember and to see that you are right in the middle of all things today. The joys, the tears. You know my strengths, you know my weakness. You see my struggles and walk right along side of me. Forgive me for not giving you the credit you deserve. My life is completely yours~many times I forget that and attempt to "own it" myself. I forget that I have you as my best friend, my comforter, my healer. Help me to find you and see you in ways that could only be YOU. Forgive me when I don't live this life you have blessed me with in the way that I should. Thank you for saving me and giving me so, so much. May I use this day to worship and honor you, in all that I do.