Thursday, February 28, 2013

15 Years

One of the BEST days of my life!!! Cannot believe how fast 15 years of marriage can fly by. The best 15 years of my life! Every single day spent with this man has been an absolute blessing. We have shared hopes, dreams, joys, laughter. We have shared tears, struggles, loss, heartache. We have shared our love for each other, our love for our children, and our love for our Heavenly Father.
It is only in HIM that all of it has held together.
So grateful to God for this man, and this
life He has given to me.

Saturday, February 16, 2013

'Yes...another gasp...I just did say that'

I can only wonder what people think when they read my blog. Behind the scenes of what you do not see is 'real life'. Often times I would love to write about the hard, painful places of life with a teenager, or a preschooler and all the ages in between. I would love to write about how sometimes I just wonder where in the world God went (I know....take a deep breath, I do have moments like that). I wonder if it is okay to have hope, even in contentment. I wonder what it's really like to dare to believe that God really knows, sees and loves my heart. 'Cause sometimes quite frankly, I do not even like it a whole lot, let alone love it.

After a few slightly, painful, hard, difficult weeks where everything about me was tested and tried in one way or another I have learned a few things.  God still loves me when I'm angry at Him. (Yes...another gasp...I just did say that.) God is still there, when I'm stuck in a murky mud puddle. He is in the Bible verse that even though I didn't feel like reading, I read anyway. He is in the song that pops into my head out of nowhere, even when I did not feel like singing. He is in the sky, filled with clouds except for one little hole where a ray of sunlight shines through. God is there when every.single.friend.person.disappears. When I think I've completely gone down a dead-end road, God puts a u-turn sign at the end to remind me where I need to go back to.

But then the stalkers come out....the people who I think are 'friends' but really seem to only be one if my life, or my opinion(s) fit(s) right in with theirs. Or, they think my life, is nothing but a joke. That I am just some spoiled stay-at-home Mom. Or, I am a religious nut (newsflash...I am a JESUS FREAK!!)  I know, I should not really care but it's hard not to when their words, actions, lack of words, lack of actions impact my life. So, I tend not to share too much.

So, you can 'stalk' my blog, my facebook page, my life. I do not have life figured out, nobody does. I think that should be a disclaimer on my at your own risk. I come with faults, issues, drama, but I also come with a hope, a promise, a story. And if I can impact along the way, one life with  anything I write, share, or how I live out my life it is worth it. 

Wednesday, February 13, 2013


I have been way to frazzled to blog the past few weeks.  We have had problem after problem after problem with our mini-van.  We've put hundreds of dollars into it only to have another small issue with a transmission on the fritz.

So we had to decide, put money into it to drive it until tomorrow when another problem pops up, or count our losses and move on.....that is a very hard decision to make. A) We were perfectly happy driving the old thing (seriously....I LOVE my van). B) We now will no longer get anything out of it to put towards another vehicle. C) Not that there is ever a good time to have something like this happen, but right now this was NOT a good time. 

Chad and I had made plans for our 15th anniversary to get away for a few days. We booked the cabin we stayed at for our 10th.  That is actually the last time we have been away overnight, so we were both looking forward to this little tiny vacation with just the two of us.  Not that we do not enjoy all the time we spend with our 5 kiddos, but we both know it's very important for us to connect, refresh, and grow our marriage relationship outside of the title of 'parents'.  We do not get to do this very often, dinner out a handful of times each year and that is about it. I could have had my bags packed a month ago already~~I was so excited!!

We have had to  cancel this time away due to our unforeseen vehicle issue and are beyond disappointed and sad. We will only get our refund returned if the cabin gets rented out for dates we had booked, so we are trusting that will happen.

I will stop there before I let my soul explode with how I am really feeling....frazzled faith....