I am not sure what to write tonight. I am so tired. Today has been a mentally and emotionally draining type of day. Unfortunately the medicine we gave Wes this morning was overruled by adrenaline. He was too anxious for the dentist to do much of anything. Chad was holding his legs/arms while the assistant was holding his head still. At the risk of injuring my son the Doctor stopped the procedure. We do believe the correct decision was made but now we have to wait for two months to have it done at the hospital. The cost will be much, much more. The medical portion will be covered mostly by our health insurance (thank you God). The dental portion is still a huge chunk of change as well as the deductible and any hospital fees not covered.
That quite honestly is low on the list of concerns right now. I am most concerned about my little boy who has to undergo a pretty BIG procedure. He has been put through a lot of trauma over the past few months with his mouth. I know that we have a BIG God and I was reminded by wonderful friends today to keep my eyes fixed where they need to be. Sometimes it is so hard~I know God's there but I feel like He is so far away. I feel like I'm doing it all wrong...
God, for that brief moment this morning I wondered. Wondered why? Then I heard you whisper 'be still and know'. Lord, you know me to the innermost parts~you see what breaks my heart. You know the deepest questions and struggles and you don't turn away from me and run when I have doubts. Instead God you run as fast as you can to pick me right back up off the ground. Thank you for the grace and comfort you have given me today. Thank you for friends to walk with me~encouraging me when I stumble. I trust you! You do have a plan that is far greater than the plan I had in mind. I will wait on you!
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