Wednesday, June 27, 2012

The Highest Of Highs To The Lowest Of Lows

As most of you know our family was expecting baby # 6, after two consecutive miscarriages this year. Monday I went in for my first prenatal visit and things looked very well, I even saw little bean's heart fluttering away on the ultrasound screen. We were absolutely THRILLED and so THANKFUL to God for this new little life.

We were unsure however of exactly how far along I was so I had to go for a formal ultrasound today for measurements. I was a little apprehensive for this appointment because I woke up and was spotting just a little.  Still, I had every confidence to believe that everything would look great.  However, that was not the case.  Sometime between Monday afternoon and today baby's heart stopped beating.

Our family is devastated. This is exactly the same time frame as our first miscarriage last Summer.  Add to that I saw a heartbeat just 48 hours ago, something I never saw with the other two pregnancies that ended in miscarriage. I am so heartbroken and do not understand why this has happened again to me, to our family.

I know the next days/weeks will be hard. The emotional toll of a third miscarriage, plus hormones bouncing all over the place will make things difficult.  I know without a doubt this pregnancy was still part of God's master plan for me (and our family), and somehow giving another one up before I even got to hold him or her is part of it too.  Now is not the time for me to dig a hole, crawl in it and forget who I am in Christ. My faith is bigger than any circumstance than life can throw in our path. I will choose to live no other way. I will choose for my children and husband to see me live no other way, because it is what I believe with my whole heart. 

If you could please continue to pray us through, we need it, I need it more than ever.

Much Love from our family,
Chad, Jen & boys

Baby # 8 resting in the arms of Jesus
I love you sweet baby!!!

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