Could Not Say What I Feel Any Better Than This

 

Promise maker, promise keeper You finish what you begin

Our provision, through the desert You see it through to the end. You see it through to the end.

 

The Lord our God is EVER FAITHFUL,

never changing through the ages.

From this darkness, you will lead us

And forever we will say you're the Lord our God.

 

In the silence, in the waiting still we can know you are good

All your plans are for your glory Yes we can know you are good, yes we can know you are good

Oh, so good!

 

The Lord our God is EVER FAITHFUL,

 never changing through the ages.

From this darkness, you will lead us

And forever we will say you're the Lord our God.

 

We won't move without you

We won't move without you

You're the light of all and all that we need

 

The Lord our God is EVER FAITHFUL,

never changing through the ages.

From this darkness, you will lead us

And forever we will say you're the Lord our God.

And forever we will say you're the Lord our God

 

 

 

 

Forever I will say, you are the Lord MY God....

 

 

 

Saying Goodbye

My Grandpa, a World War II Veteran, has lived 93 years on this Earth and is getting ready to finally head Home. He suffered a major stroke this past Sunday and is now under hospice care.

I got to go see him tonight, sleeping peacefully, waiting for that time between his last breath on earth and his first one in Glory. Today has been a day for me, full of wonderful memories of my Grandfather (and my Grandmother who has been with Jesus for 6 years).

He was such a wonderful, Godly man. He also had a great sense of humor! He would be driving down the road and just honk at someone and wave like he knew them....just to get us to laugh. Or he'd honk at no one and just say "oh, that's my friend....didn't you see him??" I can still hear my Grandma laugh and then tell him to knock it off.

I will remember endless hours of card playing, riding along with him on the lawn mower, many years of incredible camping memories. Reading the Bible and his prayers. His hugs. Laughing at the jokes I would read to him out of my joke book....over and over and over. Watching him in his basement working on watches (he was a watch repairman). Never getting tired of my endless questions.

After his injury in the war he was unable to bend his leg, and then later on in life he had to have that leg amputated. I know the first thing he is going to do once he gets to Heaven is RUN into the arms of Jesus.

This song has been in my head all day today. I love the lyrics that say:

Do you want to go riding with me? To a place that lasts forevermore.

Please don't think that you are one among the few,

I'm different just like you

Where I am going there will be no alibis

No might-have-beens or sad goodbyes

Where I am going

And all the questions still unanswered in my mind

Lord, I'll leave 'em all behind

I'll only find the answers

I'll only keep on going (Keep on going) Where I'm going

(Where I am going) There will be no compromise.

No tears will come to cloud my eyes.

Where I am going, and all the precious love I've had to sacrifice

Will be given to me twice Because He paid the price

And it's worth it all just knowing

Where I am going...


Love you Grandpa....

 

What's Been Happening

Wow, I have fallen off of the blog bandwagon!! I actually love writing/sharing but honestly barely have enough energy these days to check/reply to emails, toss in a load of laundry, or pack lunches!! The reason behind this current lack of energy could have a little lot to do with this:

Due January 6, 2014!!!! THANK YOU LORD!



A few people have been praying for me, even before this pregnancy was announced. I did not think anyone was around enough to care what was going on in my life, let alone be praying for me and my family. To the one person who did care enough to ask what was going on in our little world (and you know who you are) I cannot thank you enough for caring so much about me and knowing me so very well that you asked, and were okay to let me share my journey with you. I love you more than words in a blog post could ever say. To the few of you who were prayer warriors behind the scenes, unknown, THANK YOU!!!

I could share all the things that have led up to this moment, but honestly after the comment was made by a facebook 'friend' on a previous blog post last Fall about me having a 'baby addiction' and relating me to 'octomom', I felt my blog was no longer a safe place for me to share anything about the road I was walking.

 I think the following excerpt from a book I'm reading could not say what I am feeling any better:

When you live by faith, it often feels like you are risking your reputation. You're not. You're risking God's reputation. It's not your faith that is on the line. It's His faithfulness. Why? Because God is the one who made the promise, and He is the only one who can keep it. The battle doesn't belong to you; it belongs to God. And because the battle doesn't belong to you, neither does the glory. God answers prayer to bring glory to His name, the name that is above all names. {Mark Batterson The Circle Maker}

This baby has been circled in prayer long before the pregnancy test showed positive. God is indeed good and has blessed us with another precious new life. Please continue to pray for this pregnancy, I have made it past the time that two of the previous three miscarriages occurred. Please pray baby continues to grow, so far he/she has been growing well. Measuring exactly where he/she should be for gestational age. I have seen the beautiful heart beating away three different times now!! Last week I was blessed to hear it....178 beats per minute.  =)  Such a beautiful sound.

Through The Door

We are cleaning house!!  Garage sale time means pack up and move out all the things we no longer use or will have use for. It means clearing off some shelves, bringing out stuff that's been in the attic that can serve a purpose in someone else's family. Of course, bringing in a little extra cash isn't a bad thing either!

It also means reliving lots of memories as we unpack clothes to sell, baby items no longer needed. As I poured over all of the maternity clothes, baby clothes, baby necessities, then onto the 'big boy' clothes, movies, games, toys. I don't think I've ever shed so many tears setting up for a garage sale!

I just had to stop and look around...

I had to stop and reflect on how thankful I am for *this* life, *this* day, *these* precious moments and beautiful memories God has given to me. I cannot find words to express how thankful I am to the good Lord for a full life. A good life. An abundant life.

So, instead of feeling like my memories and hope are filtering out through the garage door over the next few days, I am going to be thankful knowing that they are becoming someone else's hopes and memories.

 

Are You Cozy?

We are in a fight. A fight for our freedoms. A fight to stand up and speak the truth. Why is it so hard?  Maybe it's because we want to look good to the masses, instead of towing the line with the few. Maybe it's because we don't know how to speak in love, or listen in love. People butt heads about what the Bible says. Is it relevant to today's world? Does the word of God change because times change?

I the Lord do not change. Malachi 3:6

 

The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God endures forever. Isaiah 40:8  

 

  Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. Hebrews 13:8

 

 

I think what has changed is us, our hearts. Our minds shape what we want to see and feel.

 

We twist religion to make it a comfortable fit. We don't like it when the Pastor says something that makes us squirm in our chairs. (Note: most likely it's the Holy Spirit convicting you!) (By the way, if you're not convicted in your Church...maybe you need to find a new one?) We take bits and pieces to make us feel good and leave it at that. We don't like it when we're confronted with the very ugly truth that we sin....and many times don't mind doing so! We write it off, act like it's no big deal and when we say our 30 second prayers at night we ask forgiveness. Then we wake up and repeat the cycle.   

 

But God gives us a way to change, through His son. You cannot be bought with the blood of a Risen Saviour and not change from the inside out.

 

I will give them an undivided heart and put a new spirit in them; I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh. Ezekiel 11:19

 

It is a choice. You must pick the road you're going to travel during this life.

Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it. Matthew 7:13-14

God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. It is such a HUGE concept for me to grasp sometimes, yet as I pour over God's word, as I pray and cry out to Him, I find He is nothing but constant amazement and wonder. Constant grace, peace, hope and love. Most of all He is constant forgiveness.

I really wonder what would happen....what kind of a revolution this world could have....if we just opened our eyes and listened to the unchanging voice of truth.....if we stepped out of our cozy little box.....if we stood for....

The One Who Gave It All...

I Don't Want To Go

You changed my world
When You came to me
You drove a passion
In my soul down deep
Lord, to follow You in everything

CHORUS:
I don't want to go somewhere
If I know that You're not there
'Cause I know that me without You is a lie
And I don't want to walk that road
Be a million miles from home
'Cause my heart needs to be where You are
So I don't want to go

So come whatever
I'll stick with You
I'll walk, You'll lead me
Call me crazy or a fool
For forever I promise you that...

CHORUS

Without Your touch
Without Your love
Filling me like an ocean
For Your grace is enough
Enough for me
To never want to go somewhere
If I know that You're not there

CHORUS

It's A Season, Not A Merry-Go-Round

By now I really shouldn't be surprised all that the Lord knows, sees and understands what is in depths of my heart. Many times I feel like my head is just a bunch of jumbled thoughts, unspoken prayers, unseen moments unknown to anyone around. 

Tomorrow I (thankfully) have an appointment with my physical therapist (again). Last year I had to do therapy for hip bursitis~not fun! I had just completed the therapy and had begun to run when I became pregnant,  followed 7 weeks later by our 2nd miscarriage. (During those weeks I did very little running.) About the time I picked it back up again, we learned once again we were pregnant and I did no running for the 10 weeks I was pregnant, plus a few weeks additional recovery after we miscarried that pregnancy as well.

So, about half-way through the Summer I finally was able to pick it back up again, and did fairly well until about early Fall. Long story short, I then learned I had to have my gallbladder out and really did not do much running until about a month ago. That's when I began to notice the wonderful ache in my hamstring. I thought it would go away, I prayed it would go away, but it's not and so I think I need to get myself evaluated and hopefully get back to being pain free.

I told Chad today that sometimes (Please read what I wrote... I said sometimes, not all the time.) I feel my life is the same 'ole story, especially the last few years. Clouded by shadows of multiple miscarriages,issues with my body making it difficult to do the things that I love. His reply: I know how you feel, but at least we get to go on this merry-go-round together! I just cannot imagine going on the carousel ride of life with any other man. Next to the good Lord holding me steady, Chad is right there as well, making sure I don't fall off the horse!!! =)

Shortly after Chad and I had that little exchange I received the devotional I posted below in my inbox. Coincidence~~I don't think so!! I had just read the verse that is shared from Jeremiah this morning in my devotional time. I just sat at the counter crying and shaking my head, in amazement and thanksgiving. Life is more about seasons, than merry-go-rounds! I needed that change of perspective today!

I am grateful this day for the ways God communicates with me. How He is intimately aware of what is going on in my life. How He pours out His love and grace in such beautiful ways. I am also thankful for the people that He has placed in my path during my 'seasons'.  People with knowledge to help and encourage me when I need it. I am praying for wisdom for my therapist, patience for me, and ultimately healing so I can get back to worshipping along the road.

Giving thanks even in this season of life...

 

For A Season

Wisdom Hunters Devotional

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens. Ecclesiastes 3:1

Most everything in life is for a season. Jobs are for a season. Relationships are for a season. Hobbies are for a season. Homes are for a season. Small children and teenagers are for a season. Grandchildren are for a season. Youth is for a season. Economic upturns and downturns are for a season. Family vacations are for a season. Formal education is for a season. Income generating years are for a season. Good health is for a season. Life on earth is for a season.

Perhaps you find yourself in a season within a season. You are eager to move on to a new stage of life, but the Lord still has lessons for you to learn before you transition. Or, you may not want to let go of where you are for fear of what lies ahead in the next chapter of your life. Either way, Jesus will show you the right way, and He will walk with you through the process. So, enjoy this season (do not wish it away), slow down, engage with God and all He wants you to experience.

Even the stork in the sky knows her appointed seasons, and the dove, the swift and the thrush observe the time of their migration. But my people do not know the requirements of the Lord. Jeremiah 8:7

What does the Lord require of you in this season? You have an 18 year span of time for your child to be under your roof and under your direct influence and authority. Now is the time to travel less at work or not at all, so you can be all there for your son or daughter. Moreover, it is stressful as a mom to give 24/7 emotionally, physically and spiritually. But, your sacrificial love carries Christ’s love into the life of your child. Yes, the intensity of parenting is for a season.

Is it time to let go of your role at work? It may be better stewardship for a leader with a different gift mix to be responsible. Don’t wear out your welcome. It's better to transition out on friendly terms than to be forced out in resentment. The peak of your performance is the best time to prepare for a new season of service. Wisdom watches for the winds of change and rides them on the wings of faith. Hold this season with an open hand and your next season will be significant!

Praise be to the name of God for ever and ever; wisdom and power are his. He changes times and seasons; he deposes kings and raises up others. He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning. Daniel 2:20-21

Prayer: Heavenly Father, give me the patience to enjoy You and others in this season of waiting.

Wisdom watches for the winds of change and rides them on the wings of faith.